Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Phnom Penh, Cambodia D79-85


Ramen Burger

You can't begin to understand Cambodia without understanding its recent horrific genocide and civil war. The Khmer Rouge murdered over two million of their own nation's people, and so it's rare to see an old Cambodian person around. Industry halted during the 70s and 80s, and now Cambodia is building its way into a modernized country. They have a long way to go...

The national currency in Cambodia is American dollars. Go figure. They only use riel, true Cambodian currency, for change. One dollar is around 4,100 riel. This pile of bills is about 70 cents:
Phnom Penh is Cambodia's capitol and our first stop. We arrived March 27th, or "Smiling Day" at the international airport:
(I'm a finalist!)
Cambodia is the only place I've been where you can see a single motorbike with up to eight living human beings riding it at once-- the equivalent of a clown car, but on two wheels.
Underloaded bike. Photo Credit: http://www.parish-without-borders.net/cditt/cambodia/dailylife/2006/dailylifekh06.htm

The ballistic, unorganized manner of traffic is a defining characteristic of Phnom Penh. There are very few traffic lights, and they are seen as a suggestion at best; you can drive opposite traffic if you want; motorbikes hold whole refrigerators on their seats, secured by a single bungee cord; thirty-foot, sharp steel poles are transported on a motorbiker's shoulder (take extra care not to tailgate him); truck beds have mounds of whatever they're transporting, with an additional 15 people sitting on top. It's chaos.

We came to PP back in 2012 and did the depressing stuff — saw S21, the torture prison from the civil war, and the Killing Fields, where innumerable people were murdered — so this 2015 trip was determined to be lighter-hearted. We used PP as a pit stop to eat good food (some areas are majorly gentrified) and grab a bus to the beach.

Tuk-tuks are the taxis of PP. You can get just about anywhere for $3, but you HAVE TO HAGGLE. Some of the drivers are nice and helpful, others are not. Most are blind to the irony of asking if we want to see the killing fields and then go to a shooting range nearby, where we can shoot weapons identical to those used during the genocide. If you want to kill something, you're in luck! For $300 you can shoot a bazooka at a live cow, you sick fuck.
 
Unfortunately, PP is far from a safe place. Every legitimate hotel worker, tuk-tuk driver or restaurant employee will warn you to not walk with a purse, and signs about purse-snatching are abundant. There are a few red-light districts, and some statistics report up to 40% of Cambodian sex workers have AIDS. Drugs are everywhere and bad meth (i.e. ice/yaba) is a problem in the country. Little kids are known for pick-pocketing. Pretty much... watch your stuff, don't hire hookers and don't do drugs. Be vigilant.
See the warning?
During the day, you can visit two different markets: The Russian Market is an unorganized, hot and dirty market where you can get cheap souvenirs. It's home to trinkets, silk scarves, shirts that say "No Money No Honey", and an impressive wing of hardware supplies.
I found this guy from his "Best Iced Coffee" page on Facebook
Central Market is a more organized market under a beautiful dome. The main dome has tons of jewels (some real some fake, all priced as real), and you can find "higher-end" items and souvenirs here: nice clothes, suits, custom made shoes, electronics, etc.

Because a lot of Phnom Penh was built under French Indochinese rule, there are some seriously gorgeous French-inspired buildings and walkways near the city center. Preah Sihanouk Boulevard, leading up to the Palace, is a romantic park and recreation area with fountain shows and organized workout groups every night. 

The Independence Monument is also worth a look.
 
At night, a walk along the river on Preah Sisowath Quay is always interesting. Start at the Palace and walk north to the Night Market. One side of the street is lined with restaurants and bars, and the other is a long, narrow park, where families play and groups workout. It's especially seedy in this area. "You wanna smoke, brudda? Weed, mushrooms, opium?" -every tuk-tuk driver to Ian. Oddly, no one offered me anything. AM I NOT COOL?
Night Market
Palace
A fake monk grabbed Ian's hand, tried to "bless him" by alternating taps between his forehead and Ian's, similar to a frat bro handshake mixed with some hokey pokey. Then he slipped a bracelet on Ian's wrist and asked for money. Real monks don't beg to foreigners or sell anything or have any use for money. For shame!

We were happy with our three days in PP, and we were all ready to get to Sihanoukville, until our good friend Food Poisoning came to visit. Sigh. We stayed a few more days.

We initially stayed at Rambutan Resort, which is super swank. We had a private outdoor bathtub, huge room and bomb ass breakfast included. Get the eggs benedict.
 
Rambutan was a little expensive ($60/night) to stay for longer than a few days, so we switched over to Hotel 240 ($40/night). Hotel 240 is on street 240, which rules because tuk-tuks know how to get there. It is very close to the Palace, River Walkway, markets, parks... basically everything. We booked through Agoda and got a great deal. Breakfast included. Private swimming pool. Bam. (The uneasy comfort of colonialism comes cheap in Phnom Penh.)
We felt better (and skinnier) after the food poisoning, so we continued on to Sihanoukville. (See next post!)
"What should our password be?"
"What day is it?"
"Well, yesterday was Wednesday, so today must be... Sursdey."


Friday, April 17, 2015

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia D74-78: Shopping & Eating Our Way Through KL


We flew to Kuala Lumpur on Malindo Air (who?), who weighed Ian's bag at 6kg (13lbs), which is utterly impossible. They did not get my vote of confidence, but hey, we made it safe. The airport is very far from downtown, like Denver Int'l to downtown Denver.

There are few "cultural adventures" to go on in Kuala Lumpur (KL). To learn about Malaysia and its short history, you either take a trip to a museum or a trip out of the city. We decided to forgo the cultural adventures and stick to city life for the few days we were in town.

Notable buildings:
Petronas Towers
KL Tower
Taxis are cheap and the monorail is cheap, clean and air-conditioned:

Ian made friends with the owners of a burger shop (Black House Burger) in Legian (Bali), who recently relocated from Kuala Lumpur. They wrote him a list of places to eat and things to see/skip, which was invaluable to our short stay.

We stayed at the Tune Hotel in Mo Chit, a budget hotel in a great location. It's $26USD a night, and it's dirty and gross and horrifically small. Room 409 had a broken faucet, goo on the walls, crumbs on the ground and smelled of mildew; Room 431 had SIX cockroaches in the bathroom when we opened the door; we settled for Rm 438, a cleanish room that smelled like cigarettes. We found out the hotel used to be a hospital, and people online swear it's haunted. Ian takes care to tell me this on the last day.

The area we stayed in is just a short hop to downtown on the monorail. If we walked down our street, we were in what I called "Little Islam"- a street filled with Islamic restaurants and Islamic clothing stores, and hundreds of thousands of good ol' Islamic STAREDOWNS.

We also visited Kuala Lumpur at a very important political and economic time. The Malaysian Prime Minister doesn't seem to be too popular. Taxi prices just went up, and starting April 1st, a sales tax of 6% began. Everything we bought on our stay did not include sales tax. To go from 0% to mandatory 6% is a hard pill to swallow. Also, though only around 61% of Malaysians are Muslim, you're essentially not treated as a citizen unless you're Islamic.
Wikipedia: "As defined by the Constitution of Malaysia, Malays must be Muslim, regardless of their ethnic heritage; otherwise, legally, they are not Malay. Consequently, apostate Malays would have to forfeit all their constitutional privileges, including their Bumiputra status, which entitles them to affirmative action in university admissions and discounts on purchases of vehicles or real estate." 
Residents of Indian and Chinese descent have notably less liberties in Malaysia, and often have to pay more than Malays for things like houses and cars and job permits. They're treated unfairly, to say the least.

But enough about social injustice! Here's what we did:


OUR ONLY NON-SHOPPING, NON-FOOD ADVENTURE:


Ian and I had never participated in a breakout game before. It was AWESOME! You chose a room with a story and you have to use a mix of imagination and logic to breakout. It's a series of tricks and traps and we absolutely geeked out. You have one hour to complete your mission, and in our first game we escaped with 6 seconds left! It was a rush. We immediately played another game and won even faster. I won't spill any beans here, so that's all I'm going to say. DO IT.


SHOPPING:

KL is a city of 62 indoor malls. Holy shopping spree!

The Pavilion is a beautiful mall with a bomb-ass food court on the lower ground level. Lot 10 is a shitty mall with another bomb-ass food court on the ground level. Sungei Wang Plaza is cheap cheap cheap. Berjaya Times Square Mall is the eighth-largest building in the world, and has THOUSANDS of stores where I can literally afford every item. We dedicate a whole day shopping here. Heaven.
 
"World's Largest Capsule Vending Machine" didn't work...

 
The currency in Malaysia is ringgit. One US dollar is 3.7 ringgit. Ten ringgit equals $2.70. Everything I bought in the Times Square Mall was 10, 15, or 20 ringgit, or $2.70-$5.40 USD each. I took out one hundred US dollars and bought:

1 cardigan
2 scarves
2 lingerie outfits
3 necklaces
8 dresses
11 shirts

FOR $100!!! (I will note that it cost $60 to ship it all home, BUT STILL!)
 
One thing sucked- you're not allowed to try on stuff before you buy it. Well... you ARE if you're brown. If you're white, like me, they literally block the fitting rooms and say "NO". Most of the clothes in the mall were visibly too small for me, but I accepted the challenge and came out with great fits. I've been to a Ross on a Saturday, so I came prepared.

I also ventured down "Little Islam" to see the clothes they had to offer. They had a lot of oversized, very conservative tops and dresses with beautiful prints. You can find any color or pattern of fabric in this area. I bought a meter of a print I liked, and I'll wear it as a scarf.
  
EATING:

There are a million places to eat, and I daresay this could be a better food city than Bangkok. Thankfully we had the list of must-eats in hand, and with that, we conquered the city.

MyBurgerLabs: Petaling Jaya location
Burgers. Good Cause. Cool kid hangout. Long line. Best Burgers ever!
Get: "Kick in the Face" or the "Hangover"
 

Lot 10 food court: Eat at Suckling Duck and Chinese Character Place
Suckling Duck: Combo #2 with duck and bbq honey pork with ginger infused rice.
Chinese Place: Xaoi Long Bao
Not Everyone Wants to Pose
   

Betel Leaf: Indian Food in Mo Chit
Chicken Tikka Masala and Mutton and Paneer. Everything was awesome. So awesome we forgot to take pictures.

Kin Kin: in Mo Chit, a block away from Tune Hotel.
Get: Dry Pan Mee. It's their staple, their errything. Less than $5USD for two people and two waters.
"To the superb taste of original,
Treasure yourself, give yourself a best treat
Bring all your friends along for a big delicious surprise!!!
To the true wonders of finest and famous dry chilli pan mee in Malasia.
That will wake everyone up with excitement, fill the air with the joy of laughter
till the last perfect bite, make the day special and proud in Kin Kin!
The origin of chilli pan mee was born here.
The restoran that created and started the first dry chilli pan me in Malaysia 30 years ago,
Restoran Kin Kin"


i-Dragon: a few locations (Berjaya and Pavillion)
Get: xaio long bao and sautéed spicy chicken.

Espressolab: superb coffee place in a variety of locations
Get: Melbourne Coffee-- iced latte with vanilla ice-cream as your cream/sugar. Life-changing.


Anyway, I'm fat now. I type this with a deeper voice.