Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia D74-78: Shopping & Eating Our Way Through KL

We flew to Kuala Lumpur on Malindo Air (who?), who weighed Ian's bag at 6kg (13lbs), which is utterly impossible. They did not get my vote of confidence, but hey, we made it safe. The airport is very far from downtown, like Denver Int'l to downtown Denver.

There are few "cultural adventures" to go on in Kuala Lumpur (KL). To learn about Malaysia and its short history, you either take a trip to a museum or a trip out of the city. We decided to forgo the cultural adventures and stick to city life for the few days we were in town.

Notable buildings:

Petronas Towers

KL Tower

Taxis are cheap and the monorail is cheap, clean and air-conditioned:

Ian made friends with the owners of a burger shop (Black House Burger) in Legian (Bali), who recently relocated from Kuala Lumpur. They wrote him a list of places to eat and things to see/skip, which was invaluable to our short stay.

We stayed at the Tune Hotel in Mo Chit, a budget hotel in a great location. It's $26USD a night, and it's dirty and gross and horrifically small. Room 409 had a broken faucet, goo on the walls, crumbs on the ground and smelled of mildew; Room 431 had SIX cockroaches in the bathroom when we opened the door; we settled for Rm 438, a cleanish room that smelled like cigarettes. We found out the hotel used to be a hospital, and people online swear it's haunted. Ian takes care to tell me this on the last day.

The area we stayed in is just a short hop to downtown on the monorail. If we walked down our street, we were in what I called "Little Islam"- a street filled with Islamic restaurants and Islamic clothing stores, and hundreds of thousands of good ol' Islamic STAREDOWNS.

We also visited Kuala Lumpur at a very important political and economic time. The Malaysian Prime Minister doesn't seem to be too popular. Taxi prices just went up, and starting April 1st, a sales tax of 6% began. Everything we bought on our stay did not include sales tax. To go from 0% to mandatory 6% is a hard pill to swallow. Also, though only around 61% of Malaysians are Muslim, you're essentially not treated as a citizen unless you're Islamic.
Wikipedia: "As defined by the Constitution of Malaysia, Malays must be Muslim, regardless of their ethnic heritage; otherwise, legally, they are not Malay. Consequently, apostate Malays would have to forfeit all their constitutional privileges, including their Bumiputra status, which entitles them to affirmative action in university admissions and discounts on purchases of vehicles or real estate." 
Residents of Indian and Chinese descent have notably less liberties in Malaysia, and often have to pay more than Malays for things like houses and cars and job permits. They're treated unfairly, to say the least.

But enough about social injustice! Here's what we did:

OUR ONLY NON-SHOPPING, NON-FOOD ADVENTURE:

Ian and I had never participated in a breakout game before. It was AWESOME! You chose a room with a story and you have to use a mix of imagination and logic to breakout. It's a series of tricks and traps and we absolutely geeked out. You have one hour to complete your mission, and in our first game we escaped with 6 seconds left! It was a rush. We immediately played another game and won even faster. I won't spill any beans here, so that's all I'm going to say. DO IT.

SHOPPING:

KL is a city of 62 indoor malls. Holy shopping spree!

The Pavilion is a beautiful mall with a bomb-ass food court on the lower ground level. Lot 10 is a shitty mall with another bomb-ass food court on the ground level. Sungei Wang Plaza is cheap cheap cheap. Berjaya Times Square Mall is the eighth-largest building in the world, and has THOUSANDS of stores where I can literally afford every item. We dedicate a whole day shopping here. Heaven.
 
"World's Largest Capsule Vending Machine" didn't work...

 
The currency in Malaysia is ringgit. One US dollar is 3.7 ringgit. Ten ringgit equals $2.70. Everything I bought in the Times Square Mall was 10, 15, or 20 ringgit, or $2.70-$5.40 USD each. I took out one hundred US dollars and bought:

1 cardigan

2 scarves

2 lingerie outfits

3 necklaces

8 dresses

11 shirts

FOR $100!!! (I will note that it cost $60 to ship it all home, BUT STILL!)
 
One thing sucked- you're not allowed to try on stuff before you buy it. Well... you ARE if you're brown. If you're white, like me, they literally block the fitting rooms and say "NO". Most of the clothes in the mall were visibly too small for me, but I accepted the challenge and came out with great fits. I've been to a Ross on a Saturday, so I came prepared.

I also ventured down "Little Islam" to see the clothes they had to offer. They had a lot of oversized, very conservative tops and dresses with beautiful prints. You can find any color or pattern of fabric in this area. I bought a meter of a print I liked, and I'll wear it as a scarf.
  

EATING:

There are a million places to eat, and I daresay this could be a better food city than Bangkok. Thankfully we had the list of must-eats in hand, and with that, we conquered the city.

MyBurgerLabs: Petaling Jaya location
Burgers. Good Cause. Cool kid hangout. Long line. Best Burgers ever!
Get: "Kick in the Face" or the "Hangover"
 

Lot 10 food court: Eat at Suckling Duck and Chinese Character Place
Suckling Duck: Combo #2 with duck and bbq honey pork with ginger infused rice.
Chinese Place: Xaoi Long Bao

Not Everyone Wants to Pose

   

Betel Leaf: Indian Food in Mo Chit
Chicken Tikka Masala and Mutton and Paneer. Everything was awesome. So awesome we forgot to take pictures.

Kin Kin: in Mo Chit, a block away from Tune Hotel.
Get: Dry Pan Mee. It's their staple, their errything. Less than $5USD for two people and two waters.

"To the superb taste of original,
Treasure yourself, give yourself a best treat
Bring all your friends along for a big delicious surprise!!!
To the true wonders of finest and famous dry chilli pan mee in Malasia.
That will wake everyone up with excitement, fill the air with the joy of laughter
till the last perfect bite, make the day special and proud in Kin Kin!
The origin of chilli pan mee was born here.
The restoran that created and started the first dry chilli pan me in Malaysia 30 years ago,
Restoran Kin Kin"

i-Dragon: a few locations (Berjaya and Pavillion)
Get: xaio long bao and sautéed spicy chicken.

Espressolab: superb coffee place in a variety of locations
Get: Melbourne Coffee-- iced latte with vanilla ice-cream as your cream/sugar. Life-changing.

Anyway, I'm fat now. I type this with a deeper voice. 

Ubud D70-73: Balinese New Year Celebrations

Ian went back to Kuta to go surfing, and I stayed in Ubud to see the New Year's celebration. I had read that Ubud is THE PLACE to be for the Ogoh-Ogoh festival, and since we were a few days away, I wasn't willing to leave THE PLACE. We're big kids, and after babysitting Ian's fever for forever over a week, we decided a few days apart would be nice.

Ogoh-Ogoh is like our New Year's Eve celebration, taking place the day before Nyepi, the Balinese Hindu new year. It started in the 80's, so the tradition is relatively new.

Every community participates in Ogoh-Ogoh by creating a big demon that looks like a foam/papier-mache monster. These demons signify spiritual pollutants and evil created by humans in the past year. The community gathers donations and works on the demons for about a month prior to the festival. The children of the community usually have their own, smaller demon to create. The demons are paraded around town during Ogoh-Ogoh, then brought to their community cemeteries to be burned at the end of the night, in hopes that the new year will start demon-free. Ya dig?

 

In the weeks leading up to Ogoh-Ogoh, we can see the demons take on life. At first they're white blobs on bamboo sticks, but later we see talons, wings and fangs added. They're evil and epic.

   

A few days before Ogoh-Ogoh, I ask everyone, EVERYONE, for details. "Where is the best place to see Ogoh-Ogoh? Where does the parade go? What time does it start?" The response: "... everywhere. ...afternoon." The lady who steamed my vagina said to maybe go to the soccer field. A girl working at the market said she thought it started around six or seven. 

It's 5PM on Friday the 20th, the day of Ogoh-Ogoh. I'm not finding any information from Googling. I click the "image" tab and see a lot of the pictures have clear, sunny skies in the background. The sun sets around 6:30 here, meaning it very well could be going on now. I rush out the door.

I walk toward the soccer field and the street is PACKED. I ask policemen which way the parade would go and they don't know. I ask a security guard where to watch the parade and he hits his fists together and opens his hands wide, like an explosion. I thank him. A few tourists relay their vague information. I head to the soccer field.

(((****It was IMPOSSIBLE to find out when and where the festivities would be held. I Googled EVERYTHING. I need to add these phrases to my post so people will know for next year: 

Where to go for Ogoh Ogoh in Ubud? 

Ogoh Ogoh parade route Ubud. 

Where to watch Ubud Ogoh Ogoh Parade. 

WHERE THE FUCK DO I WATCH OGOH OGOH?!

So, here you are travelers of 2016, the Ogoh-Ogoh low-down in Ubud: 

~5PM-6:30PM all the demons arrive at the soccer field. They line up and are judged. 

~6:30PM-7:30PM the demons are walked in front of the Ubud Palace, where an announcer talks about the demons (in Bahasa Indonesian) and there is a small performance.

~7:30PM-9PM The demons go different directions, heading towards their villages. They can take the short or long route home, and no one can tell you where the parade goes because it's not just one route. The demons are split up and off to individual village cemeteries. 

(Also, Ian saw the Ogoh-Ogoh parade in Kuta. The main place to see the parade in Kuta is at Bemo Corner, the roundabout where Jalan Pantai Kuta, Jalan Raya Kuta, Jalan Buni Sari and Jalan Legian meet.)****)))

And so, from what I can tell, the best way to see all the demons is to go to the soccer field at 6PM. They slowly trickle in as early as 4:30PM, but there won't be many until about 6PM. The figures make an appearance here to be judged, and there's room to walk between them and take pictures. Be careful, though, the demons are always comin' in hot! The men carrying them often RUN to their place in line. Pay attention when you hear whistles.
  

It is a total clusterfuck once the paraders march to Ubud Palace, and it's really not fun with so many smushed people. The villages take their demon to different parts of the intersection and wait to be called for a short performance. I take a few pictures but can't get a great view of what's going on. A shitty kid shines a red laser in my eye every time I lift my camera. Or was he a demon?

   

And so the "parade" begins. Demons go every which way. People are pushed and trampled a bit. There is a lot of yelling and cheering. There's a seedy vibe in the air from natives and tourists alike. 

There's also a sense that the locals aren't exactly thrilled to see all the tourists. The Balinese practice tolerance and rely on tourism, and for the entirety of my stay in Bali I have been greeted with open arms, but Ogoh-Ogoh was different. While nothing is outright said, the looks were less friendly and the lack of information seemed purposefully misleading. (This is just my observation.)

The next day is Nyepi, Bali's New Year's Day and their "Day of Silence". There is no working, eating, traveling, or pleasure on this day. You are not allowed to be outside. You are not allowed to be loud. The lights need to be turned off or dimmed. You're not even supposed to watch TV. THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IS CLOSED. They are super serious about this holiday.

Why? According to local folklore, evil spirits fly over the island on the first evening of the new year. If it is dark and quiet, the spirits will pass over Bali for the year; if there is activity, it will arouse their interest, and they will come to Bali and start wildin' out. 

Shittily (with all due respect), tourists are not immune to the restrictions. In fact, security officers (the only people allowed to work besides hospital workers) roam the streets, and if they catch you outside, or inside being too loud or too bright etc, you will be FINED 50 KILOS (110LBS) of rice. I am not literally made of rice, so I keep mum.

Ian is also compelled to observe Nyepi in Kuta, on what he speculates might have been a perfect beach day. We're bored. We've been grounded, and the babysitter wants rice. 

Snooze. 

Ubud D69: Birds of Petulu

If you have seen the documentary "The Act of Killing," you know that Indonesia went through some shit in the 60's. Educate yourself.

After the mass killings started in 1965, thousands of egrets (white herons) started flocking to Petulu. Every day around 15,000-20,000 birds can be seen roosting in the treetops and playing in rice fields. The common belief is that the birds are the souls of the victims of the killings.

Now it's a tourist attraction- to see the Birds of Petulu.

Ian and I rent a motorbike (though technically illegal) because everyone's doing it and it's truly the best way to get around. (It's 60,000RP to rent for the day, which includes our two helmets.) Petulu is only 2 kilometers away from the city center, so it's a quick hop. 

We're told be to there between 5PM and 6PM when the egrets fly in and are extra active. It was a rainy day (of course), but it was Ian's last day in Ubud so we took a chance and headed over there. It's about 4:30PM.

We soon realize there isn't one specific place to see the birds from. The road has a ton of signs saying some interpretation of "Best Place to See the Birds." The locals also chime in, directing you to their restaurants. We try not to get shuffled to a place with unexceptional views, but it's pretty hard to tell where to go before the birds have arrived. 

No birds yet. Hmm, where to go, where to go...

SPLAT. Ian has the worst luck.

Ian gets sprayed with bird poo. It looks like someone dropped a vanilla shake on his lap. I'm giggling uncontrollably and reaching over him to take a picture. We look up. Oh yeah, the birds have arrived. 

 

I'm still laughing at Ian when a bird nails me on the head... but I'm wearing a helmet with a visor... riding behind Ian. Ian starts to laugh at me but he has no idea that the poo has splashed from my visor onto his back. We are in stitches.

Then we realize there are thousands more coming.

We finally see something that looks like an official ticketbooth, and since we don't know where to take cover we pay 20,000RP each to be directed to a temple 200 meters away. We head over there and can't find the temple. A lot of the house fronts and community centers look like temples. 

Useless Ticket

We drive back and forth, dodging milky sky-bullets, until I hop off and ask for directions. Of all the villagers for me to approach, I see someone with a smiling, seemingly familiar face. I want to ask him if I know him from somewhere but I'm afraid I'm being racist, maybe he looks like a generic Balinese man; I want to ask him if his name is Wayan, but I know that wouldn't narrow it down at all. 

The man enthusiastically helps me with directions, and Ian drives up, waving like a maniac. "Wayan!" he says. "From the cooking school!" 

OMG! That's it! It is him! Ian has the best memory. 

So Wayan lights up! He's so excited that we remember him, and he pretends to remember us! 

Wayan tells us to forget about the tickets we just bought, there is a good place to see the birds for free. He tells us to follow him to his community center. I look at the bike... my seat seems to be taken:

Wayan gets water to wash off the bike and Ian's legs. I try to give him money but he absolutely refuses. Instead, he asks if after viewing the birds we would like to go to his house for some coffee. Heck YES!

Entrance to community center- free place to view the birds.

We check out the birds. Wayan tells us that because it's a rainy day, they are a little inactive; usually the birds are loud and it smells pretty bad. It takes us a second to adjust our eyes, but we soon see all the trees are peppered with egrets.

 

Very nice. Had the weather been better, it could have been a relaxing spot to hang out and watch the sunset. It was drizzly and the birds weren't buzzing, so we headed to Wayan's house.

Wayan, just like anyone anywhere, was extremely apologetic and humble about his house. "It is so small and so dirty, I'm so sorry. It smells like cow from my neighbor." LOL. 

His place was great. It was nice to see a house that wasn't a businessman's mansion (like the cooking school or Bali on Bike's owner's). We actually got to see a local slice-of-life. Like every traditional Balinese residence, many generations lived in the compound. We saw a lot of relatives but no one was really fazed to see us enter.

We went to his "house", which was a few small rooms in the back of the compound. He introduced us to his mother who was holding his ten month old daughter. His wife was at work, so unfortunately we didn't get to meet her. Mom made us coffee, and the coffee was great!

Wayan showed us a picture from his wedding day. His wife was just a little pregnant. It seems like most marriages in Bali are MBA's (marriage by accidents) once the woman gets pregnant. (We found out that if you get an abortion the father has to go to jail for three years!) He explained a little about their celebration, and said that he had over 150 people visit his house the week of his wedding.

When we told him we are engaged he asked if it was because I was pregnant! Rudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

He said people are always welcome to drop by his house at any time, including us. I asked if he had an email. Nope. He asked that we remember where he lived, so we could see him again someday. Lucky for us, the iPhone tracks the location of pictures we snap. We will try to be back!

Indonesia is a strange place... And so the day ended with a wonderful twist-- we went from being poo-covered and lost to having coffee at a friend's house. I can't stress enough how wonderful the Balinese we met were. If I were still living in New York and someone on the street asked if I'd like to go to his house for coffee, I'd end up in a freezer and a headline. All of the people that we met here are tolerant, trustworthy and genuine. Thank you Wayan, and all you Wayans out there!