Chiang Mai Days 16-17: Kafevino & Lake Trip

We’re staying at the Diva Guesthouse in the old city of Chiang Mai. Ian stayed here three years ago, and upon making reservations the woman emailed Ian saying welcome back and we are excited to see you again- the usual stuff someone in customer service says. When we actually check in the front-desk woman, Jeab sees Ian, gets out of her chair and says “Ian!! Herro! So happy to see you again!!” She recognized him out of all the other white dudes, so that was pretty cool. We're staying in a private room with our own bathroom and balcony for 360 Baht ($12) a night. (http://www.divaguesthouse.com/)

Jeab tells us we’re in phase two of her four-phase plan for guests: 1- initial visit, 2-bring fiancée, 3-come back married, and 4-come back with a kid (she’ll babysit!). Since we’re in phase two “bring fiancée”, it is my job to “go spend all his money now!” ... Jeab just gets it.

We check in and nap for four hours. We eat at the restaurant downstairs, learn a little about Chiang Mai and start planning our week: Saturday motorbiking, Sunday zip-lining, Monday cooking class and Tuesday trekking. Wednesday we’ll bike to Pai for a few days and come back for elephant fun. 

Chiang Mai is a city that totally caters to farangs (what Thai call foreigners). “Chiang Mai” literally translates to “walled city”, named so because it used to be a square-mile city isolated by brick walls and canals. The city has since expanded outside those walls, so the original city is now called the “Old City”. The Old City is 99% guesthouses (hotel/hostels) and restaurants. Everything is in English and everywhere you go there are brochures, brochures, BROCHURES! Your Guesthouse is your personal travel agent and they can book anything and everything for you. The morning is always a parade of vans who drive loops around the Old City picking up Farangs for various adventures. 

It’s Friday night and my uncle recommends we go to his friend’s restaurant for dinner. I get in contact wit her (who I expected to be an old white ex-pat) on Facebook. Her name is May, she’s 28 and she owns Kafevino, an amazing wine-bar in downtown Chiang Mai. We take a tuk-tuk to Kafevino. 

The restaurant is gorgeous, as is May. She’s warm and charming and we eat everything she recommends. It turns out she’s also the head chef, so she personally makes our food. We had spicy seafood spaghetti, chicken and cashews, fish and chips, balsamic-glazed mushrooms… then other things I forgot. (It’s a wine bar, after all.)

We sit outside and chat with May for hours. She used to live in LA but came back to Chiang Mai when her mom got ill. We told her our engagement story and she told me about Thai wedding traditions. My favorite was that every bridesmaid is allowed to ask the groom for one favor, whether it be “shout out that you love Rosie” or for something actually material, like a gold necklace. I am so doing this for our wedding. Ladies, get your requests in.

A few bands perform and they are all amazing. She tells the singer we’re engaged and he dedicates a love song to us. Said singer was a semifinalist on The Voice: Thailand. This is where the night gets hazy for me. (May is showering us with wine and toasting to everything.) We settle up the bill and take a tuk-tuk home. Such a fun night.

Day 17 I woke up pretty hungover. We ate breakfast downstairs and I came back upstairs to throw up. Then I ate again. Thai people aren’t as sensitive/polite in language as we Americans are, and a worker named Plair pointed at my stomach and said “You eat SO MUCH!” 

Hungover and Watching Flies Mate @ Breakfast = Ian's Grumpy Cat Face

We decided not to motorbike the big loop we had planned, but instead we rented bikes to go to a nearby lake. You don’t need a driver license (BTW DID YOU KNOW IT’S A DRIVER <singular> LICENSE?!) to rent a motorbike, which is alarming. There are plenty of pre-teen drivers. Driving in traffic here is not fun, but the highway and rural routes are very pleasant. 

Before heading out to the lake we fill up with gas. I take a picture of Ian pumping- What a man!

A second after I take this picture we hear “Ohh no! Why are you doing that? WHYYY YOU DOOOOO THAT?” A lady is looking around and giggling at us and keeps saying “Noo, why you dooooooo that?!” She’s in a fit of laughter and finally reveals, “That’s diesel!! Why you dooooo that?!”

Errrmahgawd. Ian put diesel in the motorbike that needed regular gas. All the sudden all the employees circle around him and start shaking their heads. They walk the bike to the garage and drain the tank. I hear a group of foreigners go “Did you see what that guy did? He put diesel in the tank!” Ian, for the first time since I’ve known him, was that guy. He was mortified. If I knew more about chemistry maybe I wouldn’t have been so tickled by the whole thing. The fact that the lady kept saying “Why you dooooo that?” was more ridicule than had she just called him an idiot.

We bike towards the lake and the ride is refreshing and serene. I take deep breaths and I feel great peace. Then we bike through a swarm of bees. I think they were bumble bees as we didn’t get stung, we were just pelted from all angles. These insects were the size of golfballs and had serious weight to them. I catch up to Ian and pick part of a bug off his face. Romance!

The lake is beautiful. We try to use a selfie-stick and, wouldn’t you know, it only worked in the store when I bought it. It didn’t take pics on command but would occasionally go off as we wiggled it. These are the best two we got:

There are a bunch of little bamboo platforms around the lake where you can get a meal, so Ian and I sat and had a late lunch. It was quiet and lovely until a big family sat next to us and the kids screamed and they blasted Taylor Swift. 

We stopped at a strawberry stand on the way back:

We got back to our guesthouse, returned the bikes and walked about the city. We had a coke at a Marley-bar. It's rasta-themed and all over the walls travelers write about their dreams for the world. A very peaceful end to our first full day in the walled city.