Invisible Surfboard
A little Bali/Kuta background to bum you out:
Kuta Beach is known for it’s tragic overdevelopment and party scene. Bali is 85% Hindu. In contrast, the overwhelming majority of Indonesia is Muslim. In 2002, Islam extremists bombed a nightclub in Kuta that killed over 200 and wounded another 200. The bombing was organized and praised by no other than Osama Bin Laden, who said it was a direct retaliation to America’s War on Terror and Australia’s liberation of East Timor. Bali's economy fell 80%! More bombings followed in 2005 which prompted America to discourage non-essential trips to Indonesia. All is good now, though! (Nervous laugh.) The trunk of our cab is inspected when we go to the waterpark and security looks under the taxis with mirrors when we drive up to hotels.
Memorial Pic:
Memorial Pic:
The price of everything is either in Indonesian Rupia (RPs) or US dollars. This is interesting because we haven’t run into any Americans yet, but signs everywhere post USD rates. 99% of the tourists here (in Kuta) are Australian because of that nation's close proximity, however the US Dollar is the stable currency that anchors the prices.
Every other shop has an exchange rate board outside, and the exchange rates are too good to be true. Right now $1USD=12,800RP, and you see signs with rates of 13,8000RP per dollar, claiming they charge no commission. Listen up: this is a trick! Never ever EVER exchange at a place that is not a bank. They simply count fast, cause distractions, and give you the wrong amount back. Then they BAIL.
Every other shop has an exchange rate board outside, and the exchange rates are too good to be true. Right now $1USD=12,800RP, and you see signs with rates of 13,8000RP per dollar, claiming they charge no commission. Listen up: this is a trick! Never ever EVER exchange at a place that is not a bank. They simply count fast, cause distractions, and give you the wrong amount back. Then they BAIL.
Even though we are in major touristy area, it’s apparent Bali is cheaper than Thailand. No silk scarves, but I scored a romper for $3 and immediately find out I was overcharged.
The stereotype of Australians in the US is that they're a bunch of sexy, tan, fit dreamboats. Kuta busts some stereotypes for us! Everyone is an Aussie here (specifically Kuta). There are signs for "Bloody Cold Piss" everywhere. Gross! Kuta, it seems, is Australia's Tijuana, and more specifically is basically the parking lot outside Señor Frog's. You can get stickers that say "I Shit On Fat Chicks" and "John Is Gay," as well as "Matt Is Gay," "Rob Is Gay," and "Rupert Is Gay". They sell tank-tops that say Santa Cruz. There's a Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and a Hard Rock Hotel. We walk around and the vendors say things at us like "Yeah, Aussies! Ozzie Oz!" because we're white. Racist.
A major draw to Kuta is the surfing. The sand is soft and the waves are long, perfect for beginners. You can rent a board from a bunch of places on the beach, but a lot of the boards are old and janky, and the renters hope you’ll break them so you can pay for them. Some ask for 200,000RP to rent for an hour, but you can get them down to about 50,000RP for a whole day. Haggling is a MUST in Bali.
Since I have never surfed before and I really don’t want to get hurt, we decide to take surf lessons. There are a ton of surf schools to choose from, so we just go ahead and book with the #1 rated on on Trip Advisor, Up2U Surf School. We pay 650,000RP ($50USD) each for a two-day lesson. Though it’s a little pricey, it included pickup/drop off to and from our hotel, and it's hard to argue with the #1 ranking.
On the first day we were in a class of six beginners. We were given shirts and matched with boards. I was asking a lot of questions during the briefing, and the owner, Paul, said “I can tell you’re a thinker, you’ll be riding the 8’ 6” board today.” All the other girls had normal size boards and I had the size the men used, AKA a dummy-proof one for someone my size. Fine with me!
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| First Day Group |
After the briefing in the shop we took our boards to the beach. We learned some technique before getting in the water- how to get up on the board and what to look and listen for. In the water there were two instructors, so one for three of us. They gave us individual pointers and helped propel our boards to catch the waves (totally cheating). Everyone got up a bunch of times, even me! When we got back to the shop, we were surprised to find that Paul had been taking photos of us from the beach:
On the second day, Paul had us come in for an early class. It ended up just being Ian and me, so it was a total private lesson.
Paul's claim to fame is that he's dedicated to safety first. He spent a good amount of time teaching us what to look for in the waves. He sent us "homework" the night before so we could look at the tide charts and surf in the most ideal conditions. He also provided plenty of water and sunscreen, which was a nice touch and much appreciated. All of this and Ian still broke his pinky toe.
We learned more advanced techniques for getting up and managing the waves and boards. We surfed until we were absolutely exhausted. After two plus hours, Paul told us we had to ride in a wave to finish the lesson. The tide was getting difficult and at some point he was like "never mind, let's just bring the boards in." Whatever, it was a major workout. There are no fat surfers.
On the second day, Paul had us come in for an early class. It ended up just being Ian and me, so it was a total private lesson.
Paul's claim to fame is that he's dedicated to safety first. He spent a good amount of time teaching us what to look for in the waves. He sent us "homework" the night before so we could look at the tide charts and surf in the most ideal conditions. He also provided plenty of water and sunscreen, which was a nice touch and much appreciated. All of this and Ian still broke his pinky toe.
We learned more advanced techniques for getting up and managing the waves and boards. We surfed until we were absolutely exhausted. After two plus hours, Paul told us we had to ride in a wave to finish the lesson. The tide was getting difficult and at some point he was like "never mind, let's just bring the boards in." Whatever, it was a major workout. There are no fat surfers.
We have a great chat with Paul on the way back to the shop, and he tells us that Bali has an economic crisis looming. He says that the government hands out permits willy-nilly, and Bali has overdeveloped and therefore saturated the market. He noted that this is “lower than low” season, and for the right price he’d sell his school. Ian gets a haggle-y look in his eye, but I scoot us out.
I'm giving this hotel two stars because the staff is friendly and the location is great.
HOWEVER: Do NOT use the front desk to help with anything. We've always had great luck with our receptionists helping us book things at previous places, but they really want to make money off of you here. On our first night we wanted to go to Jimbaran for dinner and they said the taxi would be 100,000. We knew that was too high. We went to the street and got a meter taxi for 45,000. We asked about hiking Mount Batur and they said they could gladly arrange it for $100 per person. They wouldn't hand me the pamphlet they were reading from, so I went by the pool to the pamphlet stand to grab it for myself. The listed price was $60 per person. They wanted $80 for reading the pamphlet?!
Also, we're staying in room 218. Avoid if you can. Blood stains on the sheets, ants and cockroaches all over the room, and whatever you flushed down the toilet makes a triumphant return an hour later. The bathroom door won't close unless bolted locked, and the shower doesn't close, flooding the bathroom every time we rinse. The room is noisy with thin walls and the curtains do not block any light (I'm assuming all the rooms have these problems). Also, very poor wifi connection.
So, a big fat BOOOOOOO to them!
Our "Delux" bed was two twin beds pushed together and covered by a king sheet.
One night we headed to Jimbaran on the suggestion of my friend, Clayton. Jimbaran is a small fishing town about 3.5 miles away from Kuta Beach. It's known for its seafood dinners by sunset.
But, ugh, so much trash:
We thought we had ordered 100grams of barracuda and snapper, so we added a half kilo of shrimp to make sure we had enough. Yeah, we had enough. With the half kilo of shrimp came a huge whole barracuda and whole snapper. The meal also came with potatoes, salad, watermelon, bok choy, peanuts, rice, and dipping sauces. We got all that, a view of the sunset, and a water and lemon juice for 300,000RP, or $24USD. The snapper was the best, and the prawns were perfectly buttery and rich with garlic.
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