Rosie and Ian's Southeast Asia Adventure: Ubud, Bali D58: Monkey Forest & Ubud Market

The Monkey Forest is a sacred forest ran by adorably rabid, thieving monkeys.

Bali is having a RABIES problem... like I don't already drool enough. A few comments on Trip Advisor talk about the five rounds of shots you have to take after being bit by a monkey, and everyone mentions they see at least one person get bit on their visit. (Just like everyone enjoys a car crash at the speedway, I wouldn't mind watching an insufferable tourist get a nibble....)

The cost to enter the forest is 30,000RP per person ($2.30).

First thought: the monkeys are adorable! They're so mischievous and their faces are so expressive. They're just like mini-humans! Also, their balls are HUGE. Full-grown, man-sized balls:

I'm torn. I want to let them climb on my back and eat bananas out of my mouth. I want to channel Jane Goodall and Ooh Ooh and Aah Aah with them, possibly live amongst them and teach them about fried bananas and banana splits... But immediately, and I mean immediately, we see someone get their earrings ripped off. Ouch. The urge to befriend and cuddle subsides... kind of.

To have the least contact with the monkeys you should keep your things sealed up in a bag (preferably without a zipper), not wear any jewelry and not engage the baby monkeys, for mama is always around the corner. While you're encouraged to buy bananas and sweet potatoes to feed the monkeys, you can't just give one banana away; You're swarmed once you purchase food and you're usually bullied into dropping it all at once. Some monkeys, the bigger and more aggressive ones, are incredibly fat and overfed. (And so super duper cuddly wuddly looking!)

I bounce between being terrified and wanting a monkey of my own. I'm jealous that some tourists are idiotically brave enough to let the monkeys pull at their hair. I want to get close-up pictures of the guys, but I really like my phone and I saw a Chinese girl in a tug-of-war with a monkey over hers.

I see a man sitting on a bench, minding his own business. He's greeted by a monkey. The monkey comes up to him, grabs his pocket open, looks inside and finds nothing. The monkey goes on his way. Across the path an old lady is gets dragged by the bottom of her skirt. There's subtle but constant trickery afoot.

It starts to rain. Ian is walking ahead of me and I open our bag to get my poncho. I see a monkey across the park and we make eyes at each other. I frantically close the bag and in a split second the monkey has galloped up my leg, grabbed my poncho and is in a tree.

I say "Ah!"

Ian turns around like, "What?!"

"I was ROBBED!"

"When?!"

And before I could point up, little pieces of plastic start snowing on us. My assailant was hanging above us, ripping my poncho to shreds.

Monkey Forest Ranger to the rescue! He has a stick and a slingshot, and coerces the monkey to drop the goods. I didn't want my saliva-soaked, holey poncho anymore, but I pretended to be thankful. He told me that monkeys go after plastic because they think food is inside. I trash the poncho and we move on.

There are some neat walls and carvings in the Monkey Forest. The Dragon Bridge is often mentioned as the sight to see. There are more impressive things in the forest. I think the massive trees are the best part.

Some statues in the Monkey Forest are particularly barbaric:

Others are particularly sexual:

There is also cemetery in the forest where Hindus who can't afford a personal cremation are buried. Every five years these bodies are excavated for a mass cremation.

After the Monkey Forest we head to the Ubud Market. Ubud is the center of handicrafts and instruments in Bali, so I was excited to see what goods the market would have. On our drive into Ubud, shops lined the road with wood carvers, silversmiths, painters, and every other kind of artist working on their crafts. The Ubud Market would have their goods, though we find they charge many times the price the actual artists charge.

I was delighted to see the mix of arts and crafts and instruments, though the Ubud Market is undoubtedly a tourist trap. I think at some point it was a great place for shopping with reasonable pricing, but now it's an attraction. The starting price for items is extremely high, and some of the vendors don't bother haggling for a fair price because they know they can scam an unsuspecting shopper. That being said, there were very cool things to see (but buy elsewhere):