Ton Sai, D39-40: Hiking the Beaches, Penis Shrine & Kayaking

So it's obvious that everyone on Ton Sai is an uber-athlete. Everywhere we look we see hot bods, climbing gear and yoga mats. It's more backpacker-esque than nearby Railey (or Rai Leh), though there are a few random families that booked here for a deal. Railey seems to have the better beaches and is highlighted on a lot of island-hopping tours. 

To get from Ton Sai to Railey we had to, of course, rock climb around the beach when the tide was out. It was slippery and sharp and it made me think that people who own watershoes aren’t total buffoons. It takes us about 20 minutes to get to Railey West. Once there, we jump in the water. Since Railey is on the island hopping trips, you can observe boat after boat letting their passengers off, and then recollecting them in about an hour. The beach is pretty full.

There are a few paths cutting through the peninsula that leads us to Railey East. I stayed on Railey East in 2009 on a Thailand excursion with my best friend Heather. We booked East because we were either (A) trying to save a buck or (B) swindled into thinking it was Railay West. Either way, Railay East doesn’t really have a beach at all. It’s still relatively expensive to stay at (we heard around $65 a night), but you’re not too far from Phra Nang beach.

After Ian indulged my "Heather and I" stories on Railey East, we headed to Phra Nang. The walk to Phra Nang is an easy path with a bunch of monkeys on it. The monkeys are conditioned to beg for food and sometimes steal your things. They climb on the tourists' backs and then take their hats or sunglasses and will only relinquish them if they're offered food or cash. They're everywhere and they aren't shy. We even saw one monkey making shrieking, horrifying love to another. Special.

Phra Nang Beach is said to be one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Heather and I happened upon it randomly one September afternoon, and it was so uninhabited in 2009 that we even sunbathed topless. Today, even I’m not that big of an exhibitionist:

Phra Nang 2009 Vs. 2015

While the water was warm and the scenery was beautiful, it was much more crowded than I had anticipated. I think I know the main draw:

  
There are now two caves (in 2009 there was only one) full of penis carvings and paintings of all sizes. I've read that fishermen donate to this shrine to win the drowned princess's (Phra Nang's) favor, and women pay their respects to increase fertility. Tourists line up to take dick pics, and I only took 100 because my phone ran out of space.

The next day we do a similar route but by kayak. It was $9 for a 4-hour rental. It was really lovely kayaking the lengths of the beaches. The limestone cliffs had many caves hidden away from the public which made for a total private snorkeling experience. We went from cove to cove and enjoyed the warm blue water and all the little fish that didn't seem afraid of us.

There were some hair-raising parts of our trip- mainly when longtails full of island hoppers sped by us. The boats seemed to have water highways, so we had to really hurry and play aqua-Frogger to cross their paths.

We saw a ton of other couples kayaking as well, and it seemed every time we passed them they were in some sort of argument. It was a hot day and after clicking oars a few times I saw how it could go. Ian and I were champs, though, and we thoroughly enjoyed the view (and workout).

Ton Sai from the Kayak

Something that has been omitted from all the guidebooks and articles online, is that the tide is a bitch. The difference between high tide and low tide is so drastic that you have to plan your day around it. Especially on shallow beaches that have more coral/rocks (like Ton Sai), you have very few hours of enjoying the water. When the level is highest, the water laps at the roots of the jungle trees, leaving no beach at all. When the level is lowest, you have to walk out 150+ feet over slimy, sharp coral to touch the water. We began out kayak adventure just pushing off into the water. We ended by dragging it across coral for 50 feet. 

Ton Sai "Beach" at Low Tide

The best part of staying in the climber-mecca was the massages! We went to Dream Massage three nights of our six-night stay, where the ladies massaged from morning until 10PM. They were some of the best and strongest masseuses I have ever had. One-hour oil massage for $6. It's nice to feel kneaded.